Lessons in Leadership: Keys to Assertive Leadership
By Steve Adubato, PhD On Oct 16, 2024
In this episode of “Lessons in Leadership,” Steve Adubato and Mary Gamba are joined by Yvonne Surowiec, SEVP, Chief People Officer, Valley Bank, and Sabine Salvatore, Director of Learning and Development, Valley Bank, to talk about leadership development, work-life balance, culture and leadership. Then, Steve and Mary talk with Kevin Lenahan, Executive Vice President, Chief Business and Strategy Officer, Atlantic Health System, about strategic growth, the importance of partnerships and the keys to getting “buy in” when merging different corporate cultures.
There is a very distinct difference between being “assertive” and “aggressive” when it comes to how we approach leadership and communication. As we work to become more effective leaders, it is essential that we look inward to ensure that we are communicating and leading from a place that is intentional, confident, and strategic, rather than a place that is insensitive, demanding, and just plain rude.
As leaders, we need to remember that this journey is about progress, not perfection. So, what exactly does it mean to be an assertive leader and when does it become aggressive to the point where it is a problem and potentially turns off those around us? Let’s consider some of the keys to being an assertive leader who moves, motivates, and inspires others:
Be concise and direct. Assertive leaders make their point in a concise and direct fashion, sometimes with a strong voice. They leave no doubt in the minds of those around them what they are stating, why they are saying it, where they think the organization needs to go and why. They also communicate with a sense of urgency and provide clear direction. Aggressive leaders can sometimes be harsh in the tone they use, that can border on being hostile, creating unnecessary conflict and turmoil. Aggressive leaders are too often poor listeners who take a “my way or the highway” approach to communicating to those around them and are not open to others’ opinions.
Utilize strategic thinking and communication. Assertive leaders often begin sentences like this; “I feel strongly that we need to move in XYZ direction because if we do, we can accomplish ABC.” Aggressive leaders often are accusatory in their language saying things like; “Our company has not reached its goals to date because you and your team dropped the ball. Why can’t you get with the program? We won’t reach the finish line at this rate.” The problem with this latter approach is that even if you are technically correct, you leave the receiver of this type of message on the defensive. They either fight back or shut down, which are two outcomes we should avoid in our professional and personal communication.
Have a problem-solving approach. While not always the case, assertive leaders often try to achieve certain results and solve problems with a mindset that says, “we are all in this together.” This leadership approach creates a culture of collaboration and loyalty. Aggressive leaders too often focus on blame, criticism, and worse, humiliation of others, which clearly has a terrible impact on productivity and effectiveness. This leadership style creates a culture of fear and stifles creativity and risk-taking.
Own it. Leaders who are overly aggressive can have a hard time admitting fault, taking responsibility or simply saying, “I’m sorry.” This is because they have a “take no prisoners” approach to business relations as opposed to trying to find a way for everyone to benefit. Assertive leaders are confident and know that when they DO admit their mistakes, apologize, and take responsibility when things go wrong, it only enhances their status as a leader.
Be confident. Many people confuse being confident with being cocky. That is the case for aggressive leaders, who display confidence from a place of dominance or control. They take a, “this is it, whether you like it or not,” approach to communicating. Instead, assertive leaders are confident and self-assured based on their experience, knowledge-base and their belief that they have something of value to share with the world around them. They express their ideas and opinions, while respective the input of others.